Some friends and I were going to catch a sneak preview of the disaster flick Day After Tomorrow, but we got there too late and the theater filled up. Still in the mood to see a movie, we instead saw this enormous pile of stinking shit: Van Helsing.
Seriously, Paycheck was so much better than Van Helsing. The movie made no sense, and was an orgy of special effects (not particularly well done, for that matter), and set pieces that were loosely tied together as a movie. Dialog: terrible. Acting: terrible. I think Hugh Jackman has the looks and talent to surpass this, and it’s obvious that Kate Beckinsale is just working on a cozy retirement fund. But poor, talented, Richard Roxburgh proved to be a bad Dracula.
This is a fantastic example of a director out of control. Clearly, someone needed to be on hand to say, “Stephen, no. You can’t do that. No, don’t write that. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, don’t do that!!” When your previous movies have been successful financially, the studios don’t care about what you put on the screen, and I’d guess Mr. Sommers was surrounded by yes-folks. (“Put Frankenstein’s monster into a carriage on its way to Rome, on a road that coincidentally transitions from the middle of the forest suddenly to a steep cliff edge? What a fabulous idea!”)
I can accept when a movie is going to be bad. I knew Van Helsing wasn’t going to be good. I just had no idea how trule terrible it would be. Hopefully, with the summer movie season upon us, I’ll be able to write something positive here soon. (Spider-Man 2?)
Jeff Carlson | Never Enough Coffee Creations 