I’m on a flight from St. Louis to Seattle, where the flight crew has announced that tonight’s movie is the James Bond flick Die Another Day. I have an article to finish, so I won’t be watching the movie all the way through, but I do want to watch the beginning (also known as “the only good part”). I had high hopes for Die Another Day… James Bond is captured while on a mission, tortured for a year, then traded back to his government. His days as a superspy are effectively over, and he has to regain his credibility (and save the world, of course).
What a great premise! Imagine, a modern James Bond movie where Bond gets to be a character instead of an archetype or cliche. Alas, the whole thing turns genuinely silly and pathetic as the producers try to cram in every Bond-ism, then outdo themselves by cramming in even more.
Anyway, if you’ve seen the movie you’re probably asking the same question as I am: They’re going to show this on a plane? This movie, which contains a long, drawn-out airplane crash at the long, drawn-out end? I guess it’s so absurd that even skittish fliers will realize that it’s just too unbelievable to even suggest a parallel.
[Update] The answer: they hacked the crap out of the film. You never see the airplane coming apart, and it’s only really hinted that it crashes.
And just in case you’re curious, glancing up every once in a while from my laptop and watching without sound makes me realize that the movie is even worse than I first thought. Oh Broccoli family, give up the reigns on Bond! (That’s an extended rant for another time.)